The first one was scurrying across the carpet late one night. I promptly crushed him since I’m always wearing my shoes in the house. I only take my shoes off to sleep since I need them to fight off these insects as well as to keep my feet warm.
The second kill was in the laundry room. I wonder what he was doing in there? Maybe, eating soap or something. I know they can metabolize almost anything.
I made three kills at once while taking out the garbage this past weekend. When I pulled the bag out of the garbage bin they started running around. I killed them and left their bodies under the cupboard. Hopefully the corpses will deter others from the area. Not likely though.
I haven’t seen any roaches around my room to date. Keep your fingers crossed for that one. I actually don’t mind the roaches so much since they don’t bite or move fast like spiders. I would make a spider kill count but then I’d be posting every day.
7 comments:
You are going to do all the killing of insects for me once I arrive right??? Why don't you invest in some RAID or something? There's a concept. How big are these roaches? I hope they are small. I'm not too sure about the decaying bodies, they may just attract other disgusting insects and bugs. Change your garbage more often, then I can call you the garbage man! Haha!
Speaking of kill counts, your story just reminded me of when i was a contract killer for several years.
(Steam rolls in from left center stage...)
You see, it was 1997, and although your memories of 1997 maybe happy and gay, mine are tragic, complicated, silent, lonely, and dark, yes, dark, so very dark..
I was hired by the KGB to do away with several mob informants. It was going to be one of the hardest hits of my life, but also the most rewarding.
I stared by doing some background intel on the site where they were staying. Oddly enough these cunning informants had fled Russia and set forth to Perth. That is why this story reminded me so much of my confirmed kills.
You see, they were staying in a house, near a school in Australia, i think it was called the UWA for short, or something like that. The Russian government had placed them there for a short stint until they were to be moved to an undisclosed location. -- I would have found that one too, but it would have taken me too long to hack the system to gain the clearance for where they were going to be sent, so i knew that the hit had to happen soon. Very soon.
I flew to Australia with my personal jet, it is able to gain enough trust to puncture the earths atmosphere, and circle the globe against the spin of the earth's axis. I was able to be in Perth in under 3 hours from Edmonton, but i had to be sedataded for the trip. its a long story, but i used to have a lot of money back in my 007 days...
One of the men saw me when i entered the first room, and he scurried across the carpet to try to tell his mates that i was in the area, however, his last deed as an informant failed when i promptly crushed him with my stub nose shotgun, i also made sure that this made the least amount of noise possible.
The next kill wasn't so easy, the deed took place in the laundry room, where he was tooling over doing his whites. He was the fruity informant, he was worried that someone had placed a red towel in with his Cotton-T from the Gap. -- How ironic, the last towel he would see would be red, and I made certain of that, with a well placed shot from my silenced shoe pistol i bought from Mr. Smart, you may know him from some T.V. show he was on called 'Get Smart'.
The final kill was made on the garage pad. He was taking out the garbage and.... Oh my god, wait a second, did this happen at your flat?
Dun dun dun ...... -- just kidding, i only killed 2 Russian informants, and i killed them in Russia. -- Ha got ya!
- Love Mike 007
Also, your blog has gotten at least 4 - 70 times better since i started posting again. You sir are welcome.
yes, the blog is better with comments. KEEP READING AND POSTING!!!
I've killed a spider that was crawling near my bed. And there are the random small insects that climb in from the always-open window here. And moths that roam the hallways. It is all very organic here. No one seems to care.
Is Dani there yet??
Agreed, it`s good to have Mike back. But why-oh-why would he have abandoned this space in the first place? Did the fan on a bunch of servers break & he had to fashion a new one out of bamboo poles? Or, more likely, a curmudgeonly bookeeper probably asked him exactly what the "Gold" package entailed, and it took twenty five days to explain all of the benefits.
The highly descriptive word "terds" is more correctly spelled, "turds".
I just found out about your blog, an issue over which I choose not to take umbrage. My question is why have you not not updated? It's September 9th in Canada. Is it still September 4th down there?
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